Penny Dreadful

When I was young

And scared of the Lord

My mother would sing me a song

A tune that I keep in a sacred place

Because I know that my life won't be long

It tells of the place where you go

When your time here on Earth is through 

A beautiful place we call heaven 

Is it true?

Please God I pray that it's true 

'Cause once this land was heaven on earth 

Green hills were all you could see

But now it's soot and steel and brick

So it looks more like hell to me

And each day brings more and more suffering 

And each night is silence and fear 

And I wake to the sound of your voice 

But you're not here 

Why aren't you here?

So now I lay me down to sleep

I pray my Lord

My soul to keep

Please let me die before I wake

So the Lord my soul, can take?

Then maybe I'll finally find you

Midst the beauty of paradise 

And you'll sing not of dying but living 

Wouldn't that be nice?

Wouldn't that be nice?

Not again...

Twenty years after,

She saw herself once more

The same old lonely night

Same bone chilling emptiness

That familiar empty bed

Weary sadness

She tried to comfort herself

She wanted to weep through joy

She wanted to gaze only serenity

But it was just a borrowed bliss

Everything she felt is certain

The pain is even more tormenting

She was undoubtedly hurt.

by: Anz

January 06, 2016

Unfinished poem...

It felt like I stormed in a havoc unarmed,

     brought courage thinking that's all that is necessary.

Was deluged with raging ammo,

     one foot step back and lean forward ready to bear the agony.

I can take it, I swear!

      gazed into my pocket & found a dagger.

The only ally I acknowledge that moment,
     I clenched onto it like I never trusted anyone before.

Charging like an idiot fool,
     oblivious of the bitterness fate waiting for me.
I stumble and lunge myself by mistake,
     I stood up and try to walk once more.

by: Anz

3

I'm walking from somewhere,

going to nowhere...

There is no specific route,

just a never ending pavement.

I turn around and look back,

I hear you; yet your voice is fading..

I can see you; obscure from a distant.

I tried to run,

I stumble,

impaired,

diminished..

I collide into you...

I can tell you had a weary course

I can see it in your eyes,

dull.. feeble.. distress..

I can feel your warm breathing

gasping for air...

choking..

I have no power to read what is on your mind

Yet I see vivid illusions of your soul,

screaming...

raging like a wild river

roaring like an enraged thunder bolts.

I know you're scared,

I am too.
But the best thing to hold onto in life is each other.

Let me hold you..

ANZ 25/8/13 6:22pm

How to be brave???

A friend told me once "I can tell you're afraid." Confidently I responded "No! 'course not! Why should I be?!" Thinking I know myself very well. Few months later I realized something, I hate to admit but.................



I guess he's more than right.







I projected a brave image wherein people admire me for that.
But deep inside me,

Nothing......…




All empty.........……





Shattered...............……







Broken....................................

Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life...

Photographs

I wish I could take pictures with my eyes, save it in my heart and share the beautiful captured moments from the day you were born.

I Love You Jared!